dellaram vreeland

As a Sri Lankan Australian, Anushka Pyalanda says she’s battled her whole life with the question of identity.

While both cultures have shaped her into the woman she is today, and she will forever honour the two countries, she does admit the colour of her skin weighed heavily on her for years – especially growing up in regional Australia where the multicultural landscape was ever-evolving.

Speaking to Anushka, she recalls one of her earliest childhood memories from when she was only three years old – a memory some might deem worth suppressing.

“I wanted to play with the other kids, but they didn’t want to play with me,” she says. “I have a distinct memory of looking out the window one day and wanting so badly to go outside and play. So I rushed to my parent’s bathroom and poured talcum powder into my hands. I remember how much I loved the silky feel of it, the perfumed scent, and the sheer perfection of its whiteness.

“I rubbed it into my skin – my arms, my face, anywhere I could. And then I began to get upset. I don’t remember if I cried, but I do vividly remember the pain of what I felt in that moment. Instead of becoming beautiful, I turned this disgusting shade of grey. And that despair travelled with me all throughout my childhood and into my adult life.”

Not using her actual name growing up in fear of being labelled as “too ethnic”, Anushka says otherness was an all-too familiar feeling, and she remained friendless for the longest time. Hard to believe for a woman whose effervescence, tenderness and joy-inducing spirit shine glaringly bright.

“Growing up in a regional town where you never saw any representation of diversity – in real life or in the media  – does something to a young child,” she says. “I even avoided gold jewellery and the colour red because I didn’t want to look Indian – which is what everyone assumed I was.”

“But I will forever be proud of the Sri Lankan blood which flows in my veins. Always.”

A mother-of-two, entrepreneur and midwifery student, Anushka says it’s only been through the journey of adulthood that she has truly come into her own and it was through her boys’ births – the ultimate act of love and self-sacrifice – that she uncovered some of her greatest awakenings and healings. 

Perhaps this just goes to show that it is indeed through the giving of ourselves that we gain the most.

“The greatest honour of my life is being a mother of boys. It’s such a gift and the biggest blessing.”

Anushka says it was her birthing experience and becoming a mother that led to her “calling” of becoming a midwife. Completing her course this year – she is ready and raring to do her bit to create a better birthing system for all, particularly in regional centres where the strain can be felt more acutely.

“There are souls I’m here to witness enter this world, I’m sure of it,” she says. “One of my favourite quotes is from Ina May Gaskin – ‘the way a culture treats women in birth is a good indicator of how well women and their contributions to society are valued and honoured’. “I want people to have empowered births – no matter what that looks like to them. But at the moment one in three women leave their births with birth trauma. They feel like something was done to them and this systematic abuse which occurs is not okay. 

“Therefore, one of my biggest wishes for the world is for the birth space to become a place where people reclaim their power. Not just for themselves, but on behalf of every woman in their ancestral lineage. Because if you can heal what is happening in the birth space you can heal the world.”

While it’s true Anushka faced her fair share of prejudice growing up as a culturally diverse young girl in regional Victoria, she says there’s no doubt being tested strengthened her resolve. She now finds herself harnessing her varied skillset to empower other women to be the best version of themselves – manifesting spirit and love through her work not just as a midwife but also as a health and wellness mentor. Her latest venture sees her supporting women along their postpartum journey – providing them with the care, encouragement and guidance they need to reconnect with their bodies.

“I will never let a woman forget her power or potential to step into her absolute brilliance. No matter who we are, or where we come from, or what religion we follow – women were not born for this time to play small in their own life,” she firmly attests.

“Looking back, the three-year-old version of me had no idea what life had in store for her. She had no idea how much smaller she would become or how much she would have to dim her own sparkle. But I honour and adore her now. Because without her strength, and her belief that there was so much more to this life, even when she didn’t have the words to express it, she believed in me. In this version of me. That it would someday, somehow happen.”

Follow Anushka’s journey and discover how she is empowering more women to become the best version of themselves: instagram.com/anushkapy

Words: Dellaram Vreeland
Image credits: instagram.com/anushkapy